Tell Me More!
Encouraging students to share with their host family isn’t as simple as asking them to “just speak up.” It’s shaped by culture, connection, and confidence.
In some cultures, being direct shows respect. In others, silence, listeningand preserving harmony matter more. Some students are taught to wait to be invited into conversation—especially with adults. So a quiet student isn’t necessarily disengaged; they may feel content and connected without saying much.
Openness also requires a depth of connection that takes time to develop. It starts when the host is mindful about creating an emotionally safeenvironment. Connection often grows in low-pressure moments—cooking together, walking the dog, playing a game. It also helps to be explicit; hosts can let their students know that sharing thoughts, preferences, and even small concerns is welcome—and won’t be seen as rude. And, as with many behaviours, it’s important to model what you hope to see. When host families share their own stories or reflections, it creates a more natural, balanced exchange.
Finally, speaking up in another language requires confidence in one’s skills. Students may not have the vocabulary to express themselves fully, and may worry about making mistakes. Many students have better comprehension and mastery of English when reading and writing, but struggle with speaking, largely due to lack of practice. You can reduce their fears by saying that mistakes are fine, and trying matters more than perfection.
All this to say: Consider sharing as a skill, not an expectation.
Instead of pushing for conversation, try opening the door:
“We’re really glad you’re here. How are you settling in?”
"What's something you've enjoyed recently?"
“We’d love to hear your thoughts if you feel comfortable.”
"How would you do this in your country?"
"You don't have to answer right away if you'd rather think about it."
When students do share, hosts can acknowledge it. My favourite technique is to paraphrase what I heard and then ask, “Did I get that right?” This gives the other person a chance to edit their meaning in real time, which builds trust—and makes the next conversation easier.
How about you? How do you invite a deeper connection with your students, friends, or colleagues?
